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aw_bats's Journal
Created on 2006-04-22 04:02:19 (#10083944), last updated 2006-05-01
12 comments received, 0 comments posted
Basic Account [Gift]
2 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, 0 Virtual Gifts, 2 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | clam |
|---|
Bioit's 1:21 AM, i'm sick, and i might just be rambling.....
i have a history, and i have a tendency to fuck up. i try,
and i make the best of what i get. i live with my grandma.
i do have a mom and a dad. my mom fucked up and my
dad is disabled and, with his other family, couldn't
afford me. i still keep in touch with my mom and visit her often,
but my dad has been moving between new york and north
carolina because of different surgeries and marriage complications.
i have a 20 year old sister and a 26(?)year old brother. my sister
either stays with or around my mom, and i get to see her often. my
brother lives in the same neighborhood as me and i don't see him or
talk to him, but even when i lived with him i didn't see him or talk to
him because i was young and annoying. that's ok. my name is corrie, or
clam, whatever. i have a hard time trusting people, which is pretty much
limited to boyfriends, probably because of the dad situation or so my psych
says. i have few friends that i still consider friends because i have
such a hard time keeping in touch with all of them and i haven't decided
if that means they're just not worth it to me or not. i'm a vegetarian but
not because it's cruel to animals, i could care less. i just think it's gross.
i try to eat healthily. i have a hard time in school, i learn but i'm too
lazy to do the work. i don't mind repeating it next year, either. i don't
want to go to college. i want to cut hair or work at a craft or thrift store.
odd jobs. i wouldn't mind making just enough to get by, i don't feel the
need to have a lot of nice things. i tried when i was younger, but couldn't
honestly muster up a belief in god. any religous talk now just makes me mad,
and it's hard for me to get my point across. but really, i think the main focus
of all religions is to make yourself a better person and be good to the
people around you. so cut out all the other bullshit, it's not even worth it.
i sit and draw, pen and paper, until my back hurts and more. painting is blah,
ok, nice for patterns and backgrounds. i do like music, but it's not my life.
it's not anyone's life. i like indie and punk, and the sub-genres of them. i can
get down to jazz. except the pukey sounding jazz they play on NPR. it makes me
nauseous... i like to listen to conversations (on almost any station) on the
radio and that's pretty much it, i don't know why. i do read a lot. i collect
awkward things. i collect pez with my boyfriend. i have a ferrero rocher sticker collection.
i also have a gum collection that covers one side of my book shelf,
and a garbage pail kids sticker collection (i have the cards too) covering about
2/3 of the front of my dresser. and i have a lucky button. i don't do drugs and
i don't care when my friends do it, but i won't date someone or be close friends
with people that do. i can't drink because of my medication, and i used to, but i
wouldn't now because it's gotten really old. it's like drink, nauseous, dead. and
i hate when people tell me their stories of how they got so drunk/high and so and
so did this and that and it was "so cool/funny." it really isn't... but really,
i'm a horrible bitch. i manipulate and depress my boyfriends/ex's, and i
punch people in the face. and i'm a pill-popping junkie.
but i like to consider myself a positive person.♥
i have a history, and i have a tendency to fuck up. i try,
and i make the best of what i get. i live with my grandma.
i do have a mom and a dad. my mom fucked up and my
dad is disabled and, with his other family, couldn't
afford me. i still keep in touch with my mom and visit her often,
but my dad has been moving between new york and north
carolina because of different surgeries and marriage complications.
i have a 20 year old sister and a 26(?)year old brother. my sister
either stays with or around my mom, and i get to see her often. my
brother lives in the same neighborhood as me and i don't see him or
talk to him, but even when i lived with him i didn't see him or talk to
him because i was young and annoying. that's ok. my name is corrie, or
clam, whatever. i have a hard time trusting people, which is pretty much
limited to boyfriends, probably because of the dad situation or so my psych
says. i have few friends that i still consider friends because i have
such a hard time keeping in touch with all of them and i haven't decided
if that means they're just not worth it to me or not. i'm a vegetarian but
not because it's cruel to animals, i could care less. i just think it's gross.
i try to eat healthily. i have a hard time in school, i learn but i'm too
lazy to do the work. i don't mind repeating it next year, either. i don't
want to go to college. i want to cut hair or work at a craft or thrift store.
odd jobs. i wouldn't mind making just enough to get by, i don't feel the
need to have a lot of nice things. i tried when i was younger, but couldn't
honestly muster up a belief in god. any religous talk now just makes me mad,
and it's hard for me to get my point across. but really, i think the main focus
of all religions is to make yourself a better person and be good to the
people around you. so cut out all the other bullshit, it's not even worth it.
i sit and draw, pen and paper, until my back hurts and more. painting is blah,
ok, nice for patterns and backgrounds. i do like music, but it's not my life.
it's not anyone's life. i like indie and punk, and the sub-genres of them. i can
get down to jazz. except the pukey sounding jazz they play on NPR. it makes me
nauseous... i like to listen to conversations (on almost any station) on the
radio and that's pretty much it, i don't know why. i do read a lot. i collect
awkward things. i collect pez with my boyfriend. i have a ferrero rocher sticker collection.
i also have a gum collection that covers one side of my book shelf,
and a garbage pail kids sticker collection (i have the cards too) covering about
2/3 of the front of my dresser. and i have a lucky button. i don't do drugs and
i don't care when my friends do it, but i won't date someone or be close friends
with people that do. i can't drink because of my medication, and i used to, but i
wouldn't now because it's gotten really old. it's like drink, nauseous, dead. and
i hate when people tell me their stories of how they got so drunk/high and so and
so did this and that and it was "so cool/funny." it really isn't... but really,
i'm a horrible bitch. i manipulate and depress my boyfriends/ex's, and i
punch people in the face. and i'm a pill-popping junkie.
but i like to consider myself a positive person.♥
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